We all need certainty in our lives, or perhaps it's more accurate to say we all need to feel a sense of certainty in our lives.
We need to feel certain about whether or not we'll have food to eat, a purpose, somewhere to live, a way to pay the bills, someone that loves us and cares about our welfare, health to accomplish what we desire in life, etc.
Whether consciously or unconsciously, we all develop ways to create the certainty we need in our lives.
Some ways are more effective than others.
I hadn't ever really ever considered the various ways in which I found a sense of certainty in my life until Ryan and I started a business. Very quickly, all of my previous means through which I received a sense of certainty disappeared; my substantial savings, a consistent monthly income, health insurance, a dependable place to live, a knowledge of what we would be doing in even just 6 months in the future, etc.
None of these forms of certainty, like relying on money, insurance, a home, and having plans were bad, but regardless of where you're at in live or what you do for a living, they aren't the most reliable sources of certainty.
For example, you may have a wonderful, high paying job, and then you get fired, or the company fails.
You may have bought a beautiful, but modest home, but then the housing market crashes, or you lose your job and can't pay the mortgage.
You may have planned out everything for the next 2 years, but then Corona Virus hits and everything shuts down.
You get the idea. There are a lot of things outside of our control. So, is there even a way to have a sense of security in our lives that is reliable and resilient to any kind of unexpected change or upheaval?
That's what I began to wonder when my total sense of certainty in my life was destroyed about a 18 months ago. I thrive on certainty, and losing that was very difficult for me. In an effort to compensate, I began to create certainty in my life through even more undependable methods, like eating, or watching movies, or playing games on my phone.
Even though everything else in my life felt completely out of control and uncertain, I knew that if I ate a snickers bar I would feel happy, even if just for a moment. Or, despite the fact that I had no certainty about how we were going to succeed or solve our financial problems, I knew I could win at a game of spades on my phone or forget about everything if I watched a movie. And that's how I satisfied my need for certainty for the next few months.
Those few months were miserable. I was living day to day, with no real sense of certainty in any aspect of my life. And my meager attempts to create certainty solved the 'symptoms' temporarily, but quickly left me back in my depressing and stressful state of uncertainty.
In time, I realized that there had to be a better way to develop a sense of certainty in my life. Through a lot of persistent searching, reading, listening, and applying, I learned that there was a way to create a sense of security in my life that was reliable and resilient to any kind of unexpected change or upheaval!
I discovered that the way to create this certainty was through what we choose to believe; specifically what we believe about ourselves, others, and life.
My financial situation was completely uncertain, but I could choose to focus on the belief that things always work out and that I've always had 'enough' when I needed it in the past.
My business success was completely uncertain, but I could choose to focus on the belief that I've learned how to do difficult things in the past and been successful, and that as long as I never give up, I will not fail.
Having a place to live was completely uncertain, but I could choose to focus on the belief that God always provides a way, and places people and opportunities in our lives to help us out.
My future plans were completely uncertain, but I could choose to focus on the belief that there is a purpose and a flow to everything in life, and that as long as I am seeking to do good, and following my heart, then things will work out as they are meant.
This is the kind of certainty that will never fail, and never crumble under any unexpected changes or upheavals.
The certainty that we are capable of learning and growing.
The certainty that there is a flow to life and that things happen for us and not to us.
And the certainty that God is aware of our needs and will place people and opportunities in our lives to bless us.
Ryan & Courtney Bringhurst, we are a happily married power couple! Our purpose together is to inspire and uplift others to live the life they were meant to live, as well as to find true joy and satisfaction in their life's journey.